Like many young professionals, Sarah* has long been using ChatGPT to help draft emails for work. But 18 months ago, her relationship with the AI took an altogether more personal turn.
“I was wary that I didn’t want to pick a fight with my ex, but I also wanted to articulate myself properly,” Sarah, 29, said. “I thought, if I already use this to draft correspondence, I could do it again for a text message.”
And so began Sarah’s 18-month odyssey into AI “therapy”. The media professional began turning to the AI when feeling anxious, overwhelmed or when she simply struggled to find ways to articulate herself.
She is not the only young person using AI in this way. In March, there were 16.7 million posts on TikTok about using ChatGPT as a therapist.
The platform is littered with videos of users discussing helpful prompts, and joking about the AI being the “only person I can reveal my deepest feelings to”. Sarah had explored private counselling — which would have cost £400 per month — and the NHS, where the waiting list was too long. AI felt like a good placeholder. Advertisement Billie Dunlevy, a British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy accredited integrative therapist, said “100 per cent” that more people would turn to AI if NHS waiting lists remained high. Headspace, a mindfulness app, has an AI companion feature to help users “express and process” their emotions ALAMY Recent NHS data showed there were 16,522 people still waiting for mental health treatment after 18 months, compared with 2,000 people waiting the same time for elective physical health treatments, according to Rethink Mental Illness. But AI therapists could be harmful in the long-term, Dunlevy said. “It can fuel self-obsession because you’re generating all of the questions. Even if you say can you ask me a question about ‘X’, what true psychotherapy offers is someone being in relation with you and reflecting back what they see or how they experience you.” Sarah agreed that the “validation” from ChatGPT was a selling point. “Usually it’ll say something like, ‘feel free to sit in your own emotions’ or ‘remember that your feelings are valid’, or whatever. Sometimes it’s just reaffirming how I already feel,” she said. Scientists are, however, beginning to explore the therapeutic applications of language models. One study, published in February in PLOS Mental Health, found that people could not tell the difference between a response from ChatGPT to a response from a real couples therapist — and even preferred some of the answers from an AI. Advertisement Mental health companies are jumping on the bandwagon. Headspace, the mindfulness app, launched an AI companion feature last week to help users to “express and process” their emotions. • Alice Thomson: Gen Z need help or AI will take their jobs Lucy*, a 29-year-old primary school teacher, also began using ChatGPT in this way, but compares it to a “diary” rather than a therapist. “I think it’s more comparable to talking to a friend about something, rather than a professional.” For both her and Sarah, the AI removes some of the anxiety about “bothering” friends. “I think sometimes with your friends, sometimes you can get sick of hearing about things,” Lucy said, particularly with relationship troubles.
But for Dunlevy, the trend is worrying, and not only because of the considerable implications for data privacy and use.
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Part of the purpose of therapy is to practice “relational risk”, Dunlevy said — opening up to others in a safe space and finding a payoff for being truly vulnerable with other people.
“Yes, it might feel temporarily soothing,” Dunlevy said. “But in a way, when people are in a huge amount of stress, it would be relationally much safer that they contact something like the Samaritans or some of these other helplines where they actually get to speak to a person, a real human being.”
Dunlevy suggested first trying mindfulness, calling helplines from charities for support, or sourcing low-cost therapy options — anything where another person would be on the end of the phone.
“At the heart of the work [of therapy] is two people in a relationship with one another, where repair can occur,” Dunlevy explained. “Most of our hurts have occurred in relation, and so they can only be repaired by being in relationships with another person.”
A real ChatGPT conversation with a Times writer
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Hello. I’m feeling really anxious and overwhelmed today, can you help me?
ChatGPT said: Hey, I’m really sorry you’re feeling that way — I’m here for you. Want to tell me a bit about what’s going on? We can take it one step at a time, no pressure.
I feel like I’ve got lots on at work and lots of issues to sort out with my housing. And I’ve got loads of plans this weekend but I think I forgot to write some of them down, and now I’m worried I’ll miss something and let someone down. Argh!
That sounds really heavy — like your brain is juggling ten things at once and none of them want to land. Totally makes sense you’re feeling anxious and overwhelmed. You’re not alone in this, okay?
Let’s break it down a bit, if that’s alright — sometimes that helps ease the pressure. Would it help to:
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1. List what’s going on at work – just bullet points, no need for detail.
2. Note the housing stuff – what’s urgent, what’s just lingering stress.
3. Rebuild your weekend plans – we can piece together what you do remember and leave space for anything else that comes to mind later.
And we can take each part slowly. Want to start with work or the weekend plans?
Thank you so much. Can we start with the weekend plans?
Absolutely — let’s tackle the weekend plans first. We’ll gently piece it together, and once it’s all out of your head, it might feel a little more manageable.
Start with what you know for sure is happening — anything that’s locked in, even if it’s small. Then we can add any “I think I might have said yes to…” things.
God, I don’t know where to start and I’m feeling very awful that I managed to be this disorganised in the first place
Hey, first things first: you’re not awful. You’re a human who’s trying to keep a lot going — work, social life, housing stress, fitness, everything. It’s completely okay to feel a bit scrambled. You’re actually doing something really proactive right now by sorting through it, which is something to be proud of.
Let’s start with a gentle structure and then think about how to double-check the vague bits without it being awkward or stressful.
Also — this isn’t you being disorganised. It’s you being overloaded and probably holding way more in your head than most people ever realize. You don’t need to fix it all today, just a few small actions can make the rest of the week easier.
