Many writers talk about the various stages of grief, but it is often easier to picture these as three phases:
The first phase is intellectual and resides in the head.
- Loss is dealt with on a very rational level.
- The bereaved is able to talk about the death in an almost clinical manner.
- It is also common to find people using religion as an emotional blanket, if it is a betrayal of faith to mourn someone who has died.
- Emotion is kept at a distance.
- Any hint of sorrow is swept away as being nonexistent.
The second phase is emotional and resides in the heart.
- Strong emotions such as anger, fear and guilt come into play.
- The bereaved experience bouts of uncontrolled weeping.
- This is a difficult phase for the griever and those around the griever.
- There is often little or no provocation for emotional outbursts.
The third phase is reconciliation and is in the gut.
- Emotional swings slow down.
- The griever begins to find self and reorganize life.
- An emotional scar forms and is no longer painful to touch.
- The deceased is never forgotten.
- Focal point in life now shifts.
- Life begins again with renewed vigor and love.
Used by permission - American Academy of Bereavement
