- Admit to yourself that you are having feelings of grief.
- Fully experience these very painfiil feelings.
- Repressing your feelings is deleterious to your health.
- When asked “How are you doing?” do not respond “I’m fine” if, in fact you do not feel fine. Share only what and how much you wish to share.
- Remove “should” and “ought” from your vocabulary. Instead, say to yourself “I will do this.” Make your own choices, not what you think others will want you to say and think.
- Gradually learn to refer to your possessions as “mine” rather than “ours” (if the death was that of a spouse). In doing so, you are living in the present rather than the past.
- Pay attention to your dreams. They often reveal subconscious attitudes. Journaling your dreams will help you to see and work through them.
- Build new relationships and find new friends. Try new activities. Join a grief support group or other organization that will help you to live again.
- Have an imaginary conversation with the person who died. Talk over your future plans and say “good-by” so you can move on.
- Think problems through carefully. Decide what you feel is best for you, and then do it without regrets.
- Think of yourself as a person who is handling a deeply painful experience as best you can.
- Be fully aware of your environment and the people around you. This will help you deal with your loss.
- Spend some time alone. Get to know yourself and you will find much to like in yourself.
- You can grow through this stressftil experience. Your feelings and emotions are normal. It is what you do with your feelings that make the difference.
Used by permission - American Academy of Bereavement
